Lions and Tigers and Santa! Oh my!

This evening we went to see the Christmas lights at Lincoln Park Zoo. We were amazed by Anna's fascination with all the colored lights. As we pushed her through the zoo in her stroller, her gaze was constantly directed up - she laid in her carrier, staring at the lights, smiling & babbling.

The outing also included a visit with Santa Claus. Santa & the largest elf that I've ever seen were set-up in the Lion House. Anna told Santa that she'd been good "all her life" & that all she wanted for Christmas is to sleep through the night!

Friday Photo - 12/11/09

Anna "Dimples" Hinshaw

Just call her "Dimples"! They finally made an appearance this afternoon. Traci & I were out & about with some new parent friends this afternoon. I was pushing the stroller & Traci spotted 'em. As Anna smiled, two little dimples appeared just beyond the corners of her mouth. They're tiny. They're barely noticeable (for now, hopefully). BUT, they're there!

Now, we just have to catch them on film. In the meantime, here's Anna & Rudolph.

Saturday Mornings and the Secret Society

Many of the Saturday mornings since Anna's birth, I've gotten up early & taken Anna for a walk. We quietly close the bedroom door, leaving Traci & the dog sound asleep or, at least, on the verge of a mid-morning nap. Of course, the official purpose of our walk is to let mom catch a few extra Z's & to force Anna to take a longer morning nap. In less urban areas, babies apparently love to ride in the car. Apparently that's what relaxes them. Here there are just too many stop signs & too much congestion to get up enough speed in the car to soothe. But, a brisk stroller ride seems to have the same effect. So, off we go. I play the role of the martyr, giving up that bonus snooze. The truth is, it's just about my favorite part of the week. Few things make me prouder than heading down our tree-lined street behind the stroller. I'm not alone in this either.

In our neighborhood, there seems to be a sort of "Saturday Secret Society" of Dads & kids. We gather in the coffee shops or at the farmer's market in the square. Strollers parked, 2 & 3 deep with no moms to be found. We hold doors for one another - we're not quite as nimble with the strollers as the moms are. We nod at one another & chuckle at the antics of each other's children. But mostly, we just stroll. Then by about 9:30 nearly all the dads are gone - home to wake mom or home to feed babies. By 10 o'clock the sidewalks fill with Saturday morning shoppers & brunch goers and no evidence of our secret society exists.

Two Month Update

Today marks Anna's two-month birthday (hard to believe, isn't it?), so it seems appropriate to share some of the things she has learned over the last two months, along with a few her parents have learned as well.

Anna's controlling her head really well these days -- she'll hold it up for full minutes at a time, looking from side to side or just gazing at the object in front of her. She's really close to rolling over from tummy to back -- I am expecting that any day now, if she can keep from getting herself frustrated. She's also started pulling her legs up under her when she lies on her tummy and then trying to push herself off, which looks like the early steps towards crawling.

Anna's also becoming REALLY vocal. Sounds like we might have a chatty little girl on our hands. She likes to hold "conversations" with me and Will, responding when we talk to her, laughing at us, and maintaining eye contact. She tracks both toys and people with her eyes, and is starting to reach and grab for toys.

My little baby doesn't like to be held like a little baby anymore. Unless she's really tired, she doesn't like to be cradled, but would rather sit on my lap facing out into the room, or up on a shoulder where she can see everything behind me. She's definitely soaking up the world around her and loving it all.

Will and I have learned approximately 142 different techniques to get gas out of a baby. The fussiness he mentioned a few weeks ago seemed to stem from that, so we tried everything we could think of. Thankfully, that fussy period has passed. (Just like the gas.)

We've also learned roughly 143 different ways to get her to sleep, although this one is proving more difficult. Anna sleeps really well at night, but naps are a different story. She'll nap for EXACTLY 35 minutes in her crib or bassinette, regardless of how tired she is, or how we get her to sleep. However, she'll sleep for hours in my arms or in the stroller on a walk (waking up as soon as we get home, of course).

I have learned that watching your two-month old get three shots in her thighs is infinitely more painful than any needle pokes you could ever receive yourself (and I HATE needles). Anna handled them like a champ (she actually smiled and cooed after the first) and recovered quickly, but I may make Will take her to the pediatrician for her next set of immunizations by himself.

And, we're learning that time goes way too fast. Not a day goes by that a friend or a stranger on the street remarks how tiny Anna is, but to us, she seems so big and mature already. She seems to be growing and changing each day, in both appearance and personality. As exciting as that is, I'm not sure I want her to grow up so quickly.

For the record, Anna's up to 22.5 inches and 11 pounds, 4 ounces -- she's still in roughly the 75th percentile for both length and weight, so she's not that tiny. And, after 60 short days, she's in the 100th percentile for absolutely capturing my heart.

Anniversary & Babysitter

Last night Traci & I left Anna with a babysitter for the first time to celebrate our anniversary "on the town". Of course, by "on the town" I mean at a restaurant 3 blocks from home. You know, just in case. There was some nervousness in the minutes leading up to the sitter's arrival. There was anxiousness as we gave detailed instruction to the sitter who must've thought that we were under the impression that this was the first time that she'd seen an actual human baby. We sat for several mintues while she & Anna got acquainted. And then, with our breath held, we were off. We wondered if she'd cry all evening. We hoped there would be no fussy spells. Just how quickly would we get the call to come home?

At first, it was weird and unfamiliar to be out, just the two of us, at night, in a restaurant. We talked for a while about Anna. We wondered what she was up to at home. We stared at the cell phone, wondering if it'd ring. We hoped she was sleeping and eating. As we settled into the evening, we talked about the highlights of the last roller coaster of year - getting married, our big trip, becoming pregnant, preparing for a baby & then her actual arrival. We talked about the everyday normal, non-climactic events of our first year of marriage too. We tried to suppose how this evening would've gone had we not had Anna yet. Oddly, neither of us could even begin to guess. Just eight weeks in and she's changed us that much.

By nine o'clock dinner was done & we were headed home. By old standards, it was an early night. By current standards, we were pooped. As we approached home, the nervousness returned. We crept quietly up the sidewalk, listening for the uncontrollable wails that we expected. We opened the door to find our happy baby, on the sitters lap, playing with a rattle. She had eaten, but not napped while we were out and she was pooped too. A quick bottle and she was off to bed. We were not far behind. And then, we got the best anniversary gift of all. Anna slept the whole night through. The whole night.

Friday Photo - 11/06/09

Friday Photo - 10/30/09

Nearly 6 weeks!

No one ever told us it would be this hard. And, if they had, we wouldn't've believed 'em. The thing is, we have a relatively good baby. BUT, it still seems like she always needs something - food, a clean diaper, rocking .... Unfortunately she can't reach the cupboard yet- even WITH her "stand up to make me tall / sit down to make me small" stool.

The serious truth is that Anna had developed (emphasis on HAD) a nice sleep/awake/eat schedule that consisted of several 3 hour naps, a few hours of awake time, and eating in between. Her schedule had her sleeping 3-4 hour stretches at night, waking only to eat. Then, something happened. She turned five weeks old & all of that went out the door. Now she sleeps in 45 minute increments, if we're lucky, and wails (not cries, wails) for equally as long periods. Everyone says that this fussy period around 5-6 weeks is common. Everyone says that it'll pass. We just wish "everyone" would come take their turn pacing up & down the hallway with her in the wee hours of the morning.

On a less stressful note, Anna is growing like a weed. (I never thought I'd actually use that expression. I'm turning into my parents & my parents' parents before my very eyes.) Anna's 4 week pediatrician appointment showed her at 9 lbs, 8ozs & 22 inches long. Mom's milk suits her, I'd say. Her neck has grown amazingly strong. She's able to raise & control her head for several seconds at a time now. She's starting to focus on people and things now too. She loves the light of a lamp and will turn her head when she hears Traci enter the room.

My favorite part of the day is just after I get home. I sit on the couch, telling Traci about my day, with Anna in my lap. Anna stares up at me, soaking in every word, as though at any moment she might speak up to comment.

Anna's facial expressions are developing too. She smiles often now, makes cooing sounds, & blows spit bubbles for fun. (Live it up, Little Lady. Soon enough we'll be getting on to you for blowing spit bubbles!) Her best expression of all though is the sad face that she makes just before she cries. The corners of her lips turn down (almost at right angles); her brow furrows; her eyes squint. Then, just for a spit second, right before the wail escapes her lips, she's the most adorable, heart-melting baby you'll ever see.

Parenting a fussy, six week old is hard work. But, the joy outweighs the pain.

Friday Photo - 10/09/09

Friday Photo - 10/02/09

Top 10 ... Baby Style

The Top 10 Most Unglamorous Things About Having a Two Week Old Baby

10. Having your daughter pee a stream directly at you in the middle of a diaper change. (I thought only boys peed like that.)

9. Sucking boogers out of your baby's nose with a rubber suction bulb.

8. The stench of a rotting umbilical cord stump.

7. When said umbilical cord stump comes off on your wife's bare belly while nursing.

6. A poopy diaper that squirts out the diaper, up her back & soils her onesie.

5. Trying to decide if your bedroom smells more like dirty diapers or spoiled milk.

4. Struggling to remember the words to lullabies that you haven't heard in nearly 30 years ... at three in the morning.

3. Having your wife stop you on your way out the front door - not to kiss you goodbye, but to tell you that you're about to leave with a burp cloth on your shoulder.

2. Cleaning dried breast milk out of your baby's hair.

And, the number one, most unglamorous thing about having a two week old baby ... (drum roll)

1. Cleaning dried breast milk out of your WIFE'S hair.

Friday Photo - 09/25/09

Happy Birthday, Baby!

A couple of weeks ago, as Anna's due date approached, I started to contemplate the blog post that would be her birth announcement. I run most days at lunch and I allow my mind to wander in a million directions to distract myself from the fact that my thighs are about to explode & my lungs are quickly collapsing. One particular day, I penned the complete "birth announcement" blog post in my mind. Even though I didn't know any of the details of her birth, I was sure that I knew exactly how I was going to feel & what I would want to say. Boy! Was I ever full of myself!

Since the big day, this blog post has loomed over me. I've enjoyed blogging & am anxious to keep it up. I know at least a few family members (*cough* Aunt Betty *cough*) are following along, so that's some incentive as well. But, I'm stuck. It's not right to move on to tell you how adorable Anna is and how little Traci is sleeping without some mention of her birth. After all, it was a life changing event for her. (For the record, it was pretty life-changing for me & Traci too.)

It's been one week since her birth and all that I can really say is that I have absolutely no words to describe how perfect & beautiful both she & Traci were in that very moment. We all know by now that I'm a big ole sap & a complete sucker for an emotional moment. But, truly, I've never experienced anything as happy & beautiful as what I witnessed that morning. Traci's labor through the night & work to bring Anna into the world, Anna's loud first cry, the bustle in the labor room, the excitement when you realize they're both okay, & then the joy when you see her placed on mom's chest ... there are simply no words to express it all. For all our technological advances, there's still no way to post, text, or tweet pure love. And that's just the way it should be.

For the statisticians amongst us ... here's the wrap-up

Anna Genevieve Hinshaw

Born: 09/15/09 at 8:42 a.m.

Weight: 6 pounds, 10 ounces

Length: 19 inches

Overall: Absolute perfection

Nesting

According to wikipedia, the nesting instict refers to an urge in pregnant animals to prepare a home for the upcoming newborn(s). The nesting instinct is found in a variety of animals, both mammals and birds. Wikipedia says that in rodents, the instinct is characterized by the urge to seek the lowest sheltered spot available. Dogs find a place like a box and smooth out the bottom. Domestic cats often make nests by bringing straw, cloth scraps, and other soft materials to a secluded nook or other small space.

Wikipedia doesn't mention Traci. Though, today's activities make clear that she's nesting. I've always known Traci to be fairly tidy. She will occasionally go through a pretty fierce cleaning spurt. Though, I've never seen anything quite like today. Our entire home is now clean, but our kitchen is, well, let's just say you could do open heart surgery on the kitchen floor if you needed to. The kitchen walls are scrubbed. The base boards are scrubbed. All of our dishes are clean. The dog bowls sparkle. And, then, there's the kitchen floors. To say that the floors have been scrubbed seems inadequate. I'm not sure which English verb means "cleaned meticulously with a three-bristle tooth brush & a gallon of elbow grease", but that appears to be what's been done to our kitchen floors. I could simultaneously eat off of them & comb my hair in the reflection.

Seems like it might not be long now ....

16 Days & Counting

Wow. Just wow. Baby's due date is just 16 days away. And, I've been wondering ...

Will she come late, making a grand entrance? Will she make a surprise early appearance? And, what will she look like? Will she have Traci's cheek bones? Will she have my thick crease across her forehead? Surely she'll have dimples, won't she? Will she be dark or fair? Tall - of course, she'll be tall. Maybe she'll be thoughtful & compassionate like her Mom. Maybe she'll be a sentimental slob like her Dad. Maybe she'll like to play with dolls, or maybe she'll rather play with army men in the mud. Maybe she'll love to ride her bike with playing cards in the spokes. Maybe she'll enjoy pulling the dogs tail. Whatever she'll be, we can hardly wait to know her. Whatever she'll be, we can hardly wait to love her more.

Her nursery is ready. Her bed is made. The stroller & car seat sit in the corner of her room. A pediatrician has been picked. Her Mom's hospital bag is packed. And, we wait.

30 Days and counting ...

Not much blogworthy on the baby prep front. Just waiting. Due date is just 30 days away. Holy mackrel! Where did the all those months go?

Friday Nights

Remember when Friday nights meant mom or dad dropping you off at the movie theater to hang out with your friends? You spent half the night eating sour patch kids and the other half shoveling quarters into a Pacman video game.

Remember when Friday nights meant high school football games? You wore your favorite sweatshirt and stood at the edge of the field. You held someone's hand for the first time or exchanged innocent pecks under the bleachers.

Remember when Friday nights meant parties at the sorority or fraternity house? You stayed out late, acted like you were all grown up. Then back at the dorm you stayed up even later talking about who you saw, who you met & wondered if they liked you too.

Remember when Friday nights meant dates, a dinner & a movie? Remember when Friday night meant meeting friends after work for happy hour? Remember when Friday nights meant concerts & house parties? Remember when Friday nights meant a long walk for ice cream with someone special? Remember when Friday night meant just snuggling on the couch for a movie?

Remember when Friday night meant washing brand new baby clothes & unpacking a fresh pack of newborn diapers? WAIT. What?

Yup. Friday night & we're unpacking hand-me-down baby clothes & clipping the tags from new ones. Baby's complete wardrobe, all those tiny little onesies & sleepers, fill only half the washer. Then we'll dry, fold, & place them gently in the freshly lined dresser drawers where they wait for 6 more short weeks.

Calm Before the Storm

We attended the first of our four birthing classes this evening. As we entered the hospital, signs posted in the hallways led you to "Birth Education Classes". A more accurate sign would've read, "Annoying People who don't listen to the instructor and ask the same question that's already been asked FOUR TIMES -> this way". Sheesh. Sometimes I wonder how some people even find their way from the bed to the bathroom in the morning.

Aside from the uber-random, repeat questions, it was an okay first session. The first session was very much an overview. Later sessions delve into more detail about labor, relaxation techniques, and other topics. The class included a tour of the Labor & Delivery and Mother & Child sections of the hospital. We were both suprisingly unemotional & calm about the whole event. I think we went into the evening thinking that the class (and tour in particular) would somehow create a sense of "reality" that would frighten or excite us. But, it didn't. Maybe that reality already exists. Maybe the information learned created a calm rather than anxiety. Or maybe, maybe it's just the calm before the storm.

33 weeks down. 7 to go.

Freezer Foods

Back at the beginning of the year, we made a New Year's Resolution to "eat in more & out less." So far, we've done really well & had lots of fun in the kitchen in the process. Now with just a couple of months to go, we're thinking about stocking up the freezer in anticipation of being too tired to do too much in the kitchen after those sleepless nights begin. We don't have a lot of freezer experience, so we're looking for suggestions. If you have any great recipes that you know freeze well, send 'em along.

will.hinshaw@gmail.com

traci.hinshaw@gmail.com

We start our birthing classes next week. More excitement to come!

Single Digits!

Well, folks, we're down to 8 weeks -- yay for single digits! Or, maybe....crap, single digits. At this point, it depends on the day you ask -- in some respects, it seems like the last 32 weeks have floooown by. In others, it seems like we might never get to hold the little girl that awaits us at the end of this journey. And, what a journey it's been. Just to share a few statistics and factoids -- in 2009, we've experienced

...2 pregnancy tests (yes, we went back to the drugstore for a 2nd one after our first positive result, we couldn't believe it!)

...9 doctor's appointments so far (with many more to come)

...4 ultrasounds

...376 prenatal vitamins (approximately -- that's TWO big horse pills a day. For those who know me, you know this alone is a HUGE accomplishment for me and my overactive gag reflex)

...1 craving for chocolate cake so bad I made one myself

...268,080 minutes since finding out we're having a baby

I must say, when I look at it in those terms, it's understandable that I forget what life was like pre-pregnancy! But, now there's just 8 short weeks until a new life enters this crazy world. A new circle begins & I can hardly wait to see where it goes. Just eight weeks.

The Pillow Fort

The Pillow Fort. If you've ever been pregnant or ever slept with a pregnant woman, you know what I'm talking about. For as long as we've shared a bed, T has constantly fought me to stay on my half of the bed. No more. I am now relegated, like a serf, to my "third" of the bed, the third beyond the north wall of The Pillow Fort. Like most preggos, T has found that sleeping comfortably is directly related to the number of pillows utilized. There are pillows under the head, under the belly, between the knees, and behind the back. Complete pillow fortification.

I generally take a strong pro-sleep stance. If pillow fortification is what it takes, I'm in favor. I suppose it's really no bother to me. I could sleep just as soundly atop a freight train locomotive running full speed through a tornado as I can in the shadows of the north wall of The Pillow Fort.

Butterflies, Rainbows, Ballet Slippers & Innocence

A lady that I work with had a baby girl in March. Early this week she sent a box full of clothes that her little one barely wore, but has already outgrown. As Traci & I sorted through them, I was amazed at just how tiny they were. It's sometimes difficult for me to fathom that a person, a real live person, could ever be that small. And if the whole baby's that small, think about how little her stomach is or her heart or her lungs. If I think about it too much, it really becomes more than I'm capable of taking in.

It's not only her physical size that I'm struck by as I study the miniature couture, bejeweld with butterflies, rainbows, & ballet slippers. It's the innocence that really strikes me, the innocence that comes with being a newborn & weighing little more than a bag or two of sugar. How could anything that small be anything less than perfect. I can't imagine any parent every thinking otherwise. At some point though, we all fall from that perfection, that innocence. We're tainted by our environment and our own thoughts and actions as we develop and grow. I wonder though, does a parent see the innocence of their child go or does it just slip away. Can a parent ever pinpoint that moment when the innocence is gone? Can a parent do things to perserve that innocence or make it last longer? For now, I look forward to enjoying the innocence of a beautiful newborn for as long as it might last.

These are the things that I think about when I look at those tiny clothes ... butterflies, rainbows, ballet slippers & innocence.

Baby's First Pictures

My dear husband has been pestering me for a few days to post. Just because the blog was my idea he seems to think that I have to do some of the work. Seriously?

I thought I'd start by posting a few of baby's first pictures - from inside & out. The top ultrasound image was made just over 12 weeks. This was the first time that the baby looked like a "baby" and not just a blinking blob on the screen. The second ultrasound image was made at just over 21 weeks when we found out that she's a she.

Below are pictures of the baby from the outside. Wow, has my body (and hairstyle) changed. Top to bottom ... 18 weeks, 21 weeks, 26 weeks, & this morning at 29 weeks. Just 11 weeks to go.

For now, I'm resting when I can, finishing up the nursery, & fully utilizing my license to eat!

(Forgive my picture posting skills. Still trying to figure this thing out. Frankly, it's not as user-friendly as it should be.)

I like big bladders & I cannot lie ...

I have the tiniest bladder in the world. While the Guinness folks haven't confirmed it, I know it's true. I know where the bathroom is at the grocery store. I can't even fly the 50 minutes from Chicago to Nashville without going. I even know that you can duck through the side door at most Starbucks locations & find a quiet, clean one-seater. I'm tellin' ya - I have a small Asian woman's bladder. No one goes more frequently than I do. No one ....

UNTIL NOW . . .

Finally. My pregnant wife pees more often than I do.

She's yours now. You can do with her what you want.

Wednesday night Traci & I did the most grown-up thing that we've likely ever done. We attended a breastfeeding class. Breastfeeding classes are not for the immature. They include a fair amount of frontal nudity, at least in the presentation materials shown, and a lot of talking about breasts & nipples. It's more than just the "mature content" though that makes breastfeeding class for full-fledged adults only. Children don't have children. (Well, in some cases they do, but they shouldn't.) Adults have children. Parents have children.

I'm finding that my transition to parenthood is a big step towards what I perceive to be "full-fledged adulthood." I haven't lived with my parents in 13 years. It's been nearly 15 years that I've had serious levels of independence. I've bought and sold houses. I've taken jobs & moved. I've married the best girl ever. All of these were decisions that I made. My parents have offered their 2¢ when warranted, but these are all major, adult, life decisions that I've essentially made for myself or with T. Through all of these though, I still felt like my parents' child. If I failed, "Mom" would rub my hand or "Dad" would help me fix it. I suppose they'll still do those things for as long as they can, but now things begin to feel different. Soon I'll be the parent.

It will be our responsibility to make decisions for another person, a person who won't be capable of making her own decisions for a long time. It will be our responsibilities to soothe the hurt, fix the failures, and praise the triumphs. As we turn this corner, begin this new chapter (have your pick of the metaphors), I begin to feel a hint of the weight of parenthood. No doubt that for all it's trials & tribs it'll be among the most rewarding adventures ever, but for now it's unknown & a skosh scary.

During the breastfeeding class, the lactation consultant talked at great lengths about the pro's of breastfeeding, the con's of formula feeding, the ups & downs of using a bottle from time to time, the good & bad of pacifiers, feeding at will, and a host of other controversial, new parent topics. In the end, though, she said, "She's yours now. You can do with her what you want." The lactation consultant is right. We're the parents. We make the rules now. But, but ... I'm used to following the rules, not making them ....

How?How?How?

As our lives hurtle forward to the much anticipated arrival of our little one, we've decided to try to blog. We know that we're far from many of our family & friends and we hope that this might be one way of keeping in touch & sharing our changing lives with them. Hopefully you'll hear from both of us, individually & together, and hopefully we'll hear from you.

This evening we sat in a room full of soon-to-be, first time parents. We attended a short lecture given by a pediatrician at one of the local hospitals. He talked for more than an hour about breast feeding & bottle feeding, physiological jaundice, gestational diabetes, how to trim baby finger nails, how not to take advice from other people, and what felt like a gazillion other topics that we've not even begun to think about. At times it seemed like so much to think about. At other times, we looked around the room & thought, we must be more prepared than lots of these people. I'm guessing though, we'll never really be ready.

A flurry of note taking went on through the session. Though, I sat with my arms folded and listened intently. Traci sat, pen poised for note taking, and wrote very little. Are we more retentive than all the other parents there? Or, are we just more laid back? Somehow I doubt either is true. I also doubt that writing anything down would've done much good. In 4 months when our baby is whaling at the top of her little lungs, it's unlikely that we'd run to our notes. But, what will we do? How will we know? This is the worry. Everyone says, "you will know." But, how? How?How?How?

We were struck by the pediatrician's discussion of cutting baby finger nails. He suggested that using so-called baby finger nail clippers will inevitably lead to bloody fingers & toes. He suggested using manicure scissors, but that's not the point. The point is that, in a very casual out-of-the way manner, he said don't put a band-aid on those bloody, baby fingers. Baby'll chew her fingers & can choke on the band-aid. "Wow," we both seemed to have thought. How would we have ever thought of that? And, of course, it's not just band-aids but a hundred other things that we've not yet discovered. How will our poor baby not choke on our sheer ignorance? How?How?How?